'Tis the season for me to think too much...

Its that time of year for me. Every year at this time I ponder 'family'. I spend time remembering the past and wondering what the future holds. Yesterday a very sad thought occurred to me...one day my family will no longer have reunions. This is a topic John picks on me a about a lot, simply because he doesn't get together with his extended family and apparently they never have. But I grew up going to Grandma's every Sunday (almost every one anyway). I grew up having Christmas morning with my mom and then the afternoon at Grandpa's. A lot of my memories of my childhood are centered around my family, which is why I'm sad about this thought. You see, I love my family. Honestly, I didn't always believe that I loved them. Growing up I was the only cousin who was an "only child". I was the only cousin who didn't go to school with any of the other cousins. I was the "only" for a lot of things. I guess I still am in a lot of ways but here is my point. My generation doesn't make all of the reunions. My generation may come to one family function a year or some may come to two. They are going on vacations, working, with friends, etc. Believe me! I know how stressful life can be when your children are young and you want to do all the wonderful things there are to do with them but for me...family ALWAYS comes first. I thought yesterday that once my aunts are gone (a VERY long time from now please ladies!), will I see my cousins? Will I know whats going on in each of their lives? I fear not. It makes me terribly sad. You see it is this time of year, every year, that I miss them the most. I miss my family daily. I think of the fun times, the sad times, the humiliating times and I miss them. Time and distance are difficult factors but family...family should always make time for each other. My children have heard this so much in their short lives that even they will tell you "family comes first". I love my family and I wish I could see and talk to them all more often. I wish life had gone down different paths in some areas so every year at this time I could just enjoy my family instead of wondering what the future holds. So, to my family if I don't see you this holiday season I want to say, "I love you. I miss you. Please, be well."