What I did last Friday...

I haven't posted about my day last Friday for fear things would not go so well. I am still not sure things will go well, but I'm now willing to share.

Friday morning the girls and I went to my parents so I could get a tree, a maple. I didn't get the tree I originally went to get. My Dad and I both thought it was a bit too big and were afraid it wouldn't make the trip. We did find an eight-foot maple, same type, next to it and thought it may have a chance. We dug it up then we dug a Japanese cherry tree my Dad has been saving for me. Then he gave me two other maples, one red and one sugar, that were in pots (some he had rooted, I believe). Well, a week later and I'm still concerned. The two in the pots are just fine and doing quite well. But the one maple I had to dig up is not doing so well. I had such high hopes for it to grow into a beautiful tree shading our backyard. I haven't given up on it, but it still hasn't shown any signs of recovering from the move either. The Japanese cherry tree still has a good bit of green leaves, but there are some black leaves. I really don't want to lose that tree, it's one of my all time favorite trees and this one is such a cute little tree.

So, all you green-thumb people send me some good karma for my trees please. I just don't want them to die. It would be very sad.

Warm weather is really here...

Today, was so warm the girls got a chance to get out a new slip-n-slide John bought for them. They do love the slip-n-slides! The new one is a double slide so they can go at the same time and race. I think they liked it.

Garden update...

The girls are so excited about the garden now (not that they weren't before). We now have two okra plants popping their wee little heads out. A bunch of broccoli, many because I just sprinkled the tiny seeds out thinking it would be too late in the year, but they are coming up like crazy. We also a good bit of lettuce showing too. There might be one eggplant coming out or a weed, honestly, we don't know yet. The corn is growing like crazy its already about 2-3 inches tall. John told me to plant two seeds in each hole in case it didn't turn out as well as we hoped. So, now we have two plants in each hole! We've decided we are going to dig another "plot" and transplant half the corn, rather than sacrificing any of it...just in case. I, personally, still have big hopes for this garden. I'm hoping it will not only feed us, but teach the girls more about food and where it comes from and what it takes to get it to the grocery store. Let's face it, with us, everything is educational!

Yeah, corn!...

Yes, we have corn. We checked the garden yesterday afternoon, very closely. And the corn is now growing. I think in about a week we'll be able to see the stalks from the classroom window (right now they are between 1/2-1" tall). The girls, especially Chloe, were very excited. We are still waiting on other seed to come up and the tomato plants still look good. We still have high hopes!

She's riding...again...

We took the girls back down the street to ride their bikes again but this time I remembered the camera. Enjoy!

I wish I'd taken the camera...

We took the girls out to ride their bikes on the driveway. Now, I've been trying to think of a good place to take Jesse to teach her how to turn on her bike so she could just "go". John came up with the genius idea of going to the back road (no houses built there yet but the road is flat, unlike in front of our house). So, we load the bikes in the van and drive down. Yes, we could have walked but we weren't sure about the rain holding off or Jesse walking her bike down hill. So, we took the van. Anyway, I'm standing there behind Jesse and off she goes and goes and goes. I was trying to explain to her how to turn but I guess in the excitement of being able to go that was all she wanted to do. By the time we left, twenty minutes later, Jesse was an expert at turning and riding in the sand.

Chloe also had a great time riding her bike too. After we got home, Chloe asked John to take off her training wheels. I don't think we'll do that yet, but soon.

Afternoon with the ladies...

I've been planning a gathering for a new homeschool mom for about a month now. We finally had our "gathering of the minds" today. It has been such a long time since we just sat around talking about curriculum. I loved it. I had the chance to reaffirm some of my picks, for us, by looking at what others are using. We discussed different methods of homeschooling too. I'm sure we overwhelmed "D" but I think she'll get a handle on things really quickly. She had a lot of great questions and already had an idea of the direction she wants to go with homeschooling.

While I was gone, John took the girls to play at the playground at Ft. Jackson. They love it there so I think they had a fun afternoon.

Weight loss is HARD...

Why can't losing weight be as easy as putting it on? If I inhale near a doughnut I gain half a pound! Chloe and I have just marked our second year of TKD, so the weight thing is heavy on my mind. I will be honest, I've only lost 10-12 pounds (mostly in the last six months). I was hoping the activity would kick my body into shape and I would be back where I was when John and I met. Alas, no. This is a struggle for me daily simply because I'm an emotional eater. I get my feelings hurt, I eat. I get angry, I eat. I get bored, I eat. You get the picture. The biggest emotional problem I've been having the past year is the weight won't come off...so, I eat! Hmm. Don't think that helps.

Two of my favorite people joined TKD either with me or just after me. They both lost quite a bit of weight just by doing TKD. Though I was, and am, very proud of both of them I still feel very frustrated. I try to keep the junk out of the house but that goes into other issues. I just wish I could get to the magic number in my head (its only about ten more pounds-not that there is where I want to stop-, but its been eluding me for awhile). If only the weight would go away as easily as it comes on. I keep trying to focus on the positive: I've lost six-inches off my stomach and six-inches off my bust. I guess that is some progress.

Perspective...

Nothing gets you more focused on what is good in life than bad news. I've decided what I really want for myself, my kids and John is for us to focus more on what makes us happy. Really, when you think about human life, it is just a speck in time. In the scheme of things, we just don't live that long (even a long life of 104 isn't that long). So, why dwell in misery and anguish. In theory it sounds great, but I know it is going to be hard for me. I'd like to make some sort of list and put it by my bed. A list of happy thoughts or good advice (I'm not sure yet), with the goal of reading it in the morning before I even get out of bed. I've have been so focused on our physical state (eating well and exercising) that I've missed the most important...our emotional state. While we spend a lot of time together, we don't always spend our time "enjoying" each other. Not enough laughter in our lives, because isn't there always room for laughter? So, I'm going to find a way to start, not just living a better life, but enjoying life more. I certainly don't want to look back and say, "What if..." about anything.

To my family and friends:
I don't say it often, or ever to some, but I love you all for touching our lives the way you do. For caring about our family the way we care about yours. For all the times, I need a "pick me up" and you find yourselves there to help. I hope you all know if you ever need a "pick me up" I'll find a way to be there. I love you.

Easter 2009...

We had a great time at Aunt Delane's today. The grandchildren all enjoyed hiding and finding eggs. But I'm not so sure Aunt Delane is going to enjoy finding the "real" eggs we lost in a few days. Sorry!

Another "nothing" day...

I have to say that for days John wants to rest we always seem to wind up doing everything at once. This morning, we dug up more dirt and planted corn. And yes, the girls were still excited about doing it today too.

Then John decided he wanted to fry some chicken wings. He went on to decide we were going to eat out on the deck (something we have not done since we moved in). He put out the card table and I found the camping chairs. For the girls, we put out their princess picnic table with the umbrella. They had a great time just sitting there waiting for lunch. John then decided the deck was a great place to be and eating outside was fun. An hour later we were at Lowe's buying deck furniture. We are having dinner there tonight!

The rest of John's "Nothing" day...

I'll start by saying, "No, I did not work on Story of the World notes." But I knew that would happen.

John and I have been going back and forth about having a garden since January. Today, he decided we were having a garden, so off to Lowe's we went. We bought corn, tomatoes, squash, cucumbers, eggplant, okra, and so much more. We spent the afternoon digging dirt and planting things. I have to admit it's kind of cool looking out the window, beside the computer, and seeing a small garden (not quite finished though). I'm hoping something will grow, then we'll consider it a great success. The girls are very excited to have a garden here, and not just helping with Grandpa's.

We also bought some begonias for the bed in the front yard (under the girls' windows). We have those planted, along with one Mexican heather for the flower pot on the side walk. The verbenas by the mailbox look awesome! They are already full of purple blooms. The birdbath is also out and full of water. We also have our first two baby hummingbirds for the season. They have been around for the past week and we've really enjoyed watching them; so far, we only have the feeder in the back with food but soon we'll put food in the one on the front porch as well. Spring, it seems, is finally here.

Thoughts...

John took the day off today. I think he is planning on doing as little as possible; he has been working very hard the past few months, so he deserves a day with nothing to do. So far his "nothing" day has included changing the house water filter, using his brand new blower/vac to get the leaves out of the front flower bed (we have no trees, so how do we have leaves? Hmm). I'm not positive, but I think I need to buy him a dictionary for Father's Day! lol

The girls are doing well and enjoying a well deserved day off from school. Jesse has been outside for hours now doing everything she can think of. Chloe has now come inside and is working on an Easter craft project. She loves her crafts!

As for me, well I should be working on Story of the World II notes for next year. Whether or not I actually do remains to be seen. I did wander around the back yard picking up more debris and trying to decide where to put a maple tree that is at my Dad's. I walked John out and showed him a spot I picked out, but I'm not sure if he liked it or not. He started talking about fences, grass, and gardens, so honestly I haven't got a clue what he was thinking. Hopefully, we'll figure it out soon.

Its Wednesday already?...

And the week went where? I have been so confused this week trying to figure out what day of the week it is. John was suppose to be off on Monday; but it was the Monday after drill, so knowing people wanted to get paid, he decided to work instead. So, I've been thrown off all week. He did get off early enough that we went and purchased a new dishwasher. I haven't posted here about the dishwasher but just know I've given it one swift front kick then John asked me to stop. I think he was worried somehow I'd break the counter top too. I did feel better after I kicked it though! Unfortunately, the dishwasher won't be installed until next week.

The week has flown by (probably because of the difficulty keeping up with days). The girls are looking forward to our yearly jaunt to Aunt Delane's for Easter. Its about the only family gathering where there is a 95% chance they'll see Seth and Kade (cousins). We also found out they will, hopefully, get to see Grady Scott and Garrett too (they are also excited about that).

Things have been moderately quiet here. We are caught up on school work (YEAH), the house is moderately clean (not as clean as I would like but the girls do have to play...I've been told) and the laundry is caught up. I took the girls to the dentist today and no cavities. Okay, maybe its been a good week! lol

It's also getting to be the time of year when I start thinking about birthday presents. I think I have a couple of cool ideas for our girls (I've yet to have a chance to talk to John about them), but its Lawson and Morgan (nephew and niece) that I'm having problems with. I know our Christmas present to Lawson was a great disappointment for him. I was actually heartbroken over that one. I really thought he'd enjoy action figures and a book about a soldier fighting off cyclops, water demons and such, but I was wrong. I really want to make it up to him for his birthday but honestly I've come up with nothing so far. And in all honesty, I have yet to start thinking about Morgan's because I'm stuck on Lawson's (his birthday comes first, so that is where my focus is). We will figure it out!

TKD graduation Friday night...

Well what can I say? Chloe did an outstanding job with all three of her forms. She also plowed through her board breaks, two of them, in one fatal swoop. The board didn't see it coming! She is now officially a 1st Degree Black Belt and very proud. Of course, Master Mike ordered the wrong size belt, so its huge on her, but her name is correct!

Jesse did an awesome job too. She mid-termed on her form last night. She did a good job, considering Master Mike forgot to call her up and she didn't mention it (just like her!). She is showing signs of improvement in that she is not rushing through the form. I told her its not a race. Its all about the moves and the power. I think she's getting it. Her next task will be double numchucks; yes, two of them at the same time! Unbelievable!

I did okay. I finally did my numchuck form "in front of Master Mike" without dropping them during the hand rolls. I would do fine in class while practicing, but as soon as I was alone in front of the class and his eyes on me...they would fall every time! I wanted to jump up and down when we finished, "I didn't drop them!!" but I refrained. Yes, I can show restraint when needed. :)

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I have to say, to me, the most fun was watching Chris's sparring. He was graduating to his 4th Degree Belt and he had to spar almost everyone on the panel (except his Dad). So we watched three rounds of sparring with 3rd and 4th degree black belts. My Dad said he was taken back by one of them. A 19-year-old young lady. My Dad said he didn't think (by looking at her when she came in) she would do much in a fight, but maybe run. (Had I known he was thinking that I would have corrected him.) Then she sparred Chris. Now, there was no actual contact; they have such incredible control of their kicks and punches it is unreal. But she would get inches from his face with twists kicks. Several times, I lost count! She is so impressive and honestly I can't name one person who ever wants to spar her!

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Onward we go, though I am sad about the Weast's not returning for a while. I'll miss Wendy's encouragement and seeing her melt away as the pounds continue to shed off of her.

Homesick...

I'm going to start by telling, those who don't know, I have reoccurring dreams. Some dreams I have a couple of times a year, for years. Others three or four times a year. Sometimes, while I'm dreaming, I realize my dream has changed. Its a bit strange but then again so am I.

Last night I had one of these reoccurring dreams. Its one I hope in my heart never goes away. I was behind my Grandpa's house talking to my Grandma. I told her I was going to walk Maggie down the mailbox so she would know how far she go could. I've had this dream for many years, but it means more to me now that I no longer have my Grandpa, Grandma or Maggie.

I remember as a small child taking the long walk to the mailbox with my Grandma. We would walk by the apple orchard and talk about the apples, whether they were looking good that year or not. I don't remember what all we talked about, but that was my time with Grandma for the week I would spend there in the summer. I loved being on the farm, though by then the "farm" part was mostly lost; except of course for the apples.

My grandma, and my cousin Sandy will vouch for this, made the best apple pie in the world! She used her own apples from the orchard, she sliced them, dried them, froze them and waited for the time to make a pie (every Sunday if Sandy and I had our way). I don't know if it was the apples (you can't buy that kind of tree anymore I don't think), or the way she actually made the pie but they were special pies. And I don't think she ever had to throw any away because it wasn't eaten. Again, Sandy and I took care of that part.

I miss my grandparents dearly, and Maggie. But I have to be honest, even after over twenty-years I'm still heartbroken over losing the farm. It was sold when I was in high school. I still believe if it had been years later and I was working I would have tried to buy it. Even with the long commute; that farm was "home" for me in so many ways. I always felt free there. The breeze seemed lighter and the sun shone brighter. I still find drawings I made of it when I was eight years old. Even then it meant the world to me.

As much as I love the place, I can no longer drive by it. The family that bought the farm have given pieces of the land to their family and now there are quite a few homes in the "fields". The side porch my grandpa built was removed to reveal the original steps (we knew they were under the porch and as children thought it was cool!). The apple orchard is gone too. So many changes that my homesick heart can't take going past there any more. But I have my dream of my Grandma and I walking to the mailbox. I hope I can keep it...without changes.