Well, that is me today.
A few years ago my friend, Monica, introduced me to The Well-Trained Mind. I loved the book! It made me believe I could not only homeschool my children, but they would flourish both personally and intellectually. Then I discovered the WTM website. I poured through all the posts, asked many questions and even answered a few. Then before I knew it the entire WTM website changed. I found it difficult to understand. I am not a computer person. Therefore, the changes led me away from the site. I go on every now and then to see what people are talking about, but, honestly, I still don't get how much of it works to this day.
Today, while the girls were reading, I jumped onto the site again. This time of year there is much talk about what people are using for diffent subjects. Why they like/dislike something. I like to see what others think sometimes. But today things hit me a bit differently. Today, I saw myself through some one else's eyes. As I read through the posts, I saw myself lacking in so many ways.
The women, and men, there all pour themselves into homeschooling. Not just during "school hours", but all day every day. They create forms to fill in and logs to keep track of things. They take their homeschooling books with them on long drives to read through AGAIN! They plan their entire year out in a matter of weeks!
I found myself growing more depressed with every post I read. I have not planned out this year!! And it is almost finished. I do not use a BOOK to guide me on how to teach life lessons (which I find to be a bit ridiculous...it is life, use it!). When I finally decided I felt bad enough I logged off. I sit here looking at my girls as they work wondering how bad am I doing. I don't get graded. I don't have (nor really want) someone looking over my shoulder saying, "You going to cover that?" I don't know what I want or why I even type this. I only know that at some point all the parts and pieces of my life must come together so I can teach my children math, science, cooking, laundry, banking and so much more. Life is full of things that must be done daily and I find myself not getting a lot of them done.
Note: I know I've said all of this before in different ways. Some days it just has to come out of my head in some manner.
2 comments:
Do the girls know more than they did last year? In FL homeschoolers have a couple of choices at the end of the year. Do some testing or have a teacher come in to evaluate what they've done over the year. My g/f chooses the later and the teacher comes in and looks over their work and pretty much says - yep, they know more than they did last year. You know your girls, you know what they've learned, how they learn and what they're capable of. This is one of the reasons we homeschool - because we know our kids! You are doing a great job with them. Don't doubt yourself now.
I do feel better after some math with Chloe this evening; I think the multiplication is beginning to really set in.
Thanks, Wendy!
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